Date: Tue, 30 Jul 1996 04:43:11 GMT From: Michael Evven Esh To: Forum for Alumni of Livnot U'lehibanot Subject: Jewish Mistletoe Shalom to our subscribers! The little-known holiday of Tu B'Av is Tuesday night and Wednesday. The one-and-only Gedalia Gurfein has once again written a powerful article especially for xlivnot, on the importance of this great holiday. Enjoy! Michael ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Tu B'Av or Not Tu B'Av" - But Who is Asking the Question? by Gedalia Gurfein Tu B'Av, simply 'named' after it's date, the 15th of the month of Av, is one of the more obscure and yet deeply profound holidays in the Jewish calendar. To highlight this, our Sages point out that virtually every major holiday will pale away after the Mashiach arrives and Tu B'Av will come to the forefront. It is a holiday without props, no lulav or matzah, without kiddush or blessings nor special prayers. Classically, it has become the kind of Jewish mistletoe holiday to such a degree that Jewish Lore says on this day "a woman can propose for marriage". Maybe one of the reasons this isn't such a big deal in the '90's is that the thought of the woman proposing happens everyday. Maybe we could begin Tu B'Av by asking a question, "How is this proposing different from all other proposing?" To open this mystery, we have to begin to unravel the story from it's very start. The Talmud tells us that Tu B'Av was the day when 'fair maidens' would put on their whites, dance together in the field and sing their praises. The men, lurking suspiciously in the bushes, would peer in until they spotted their potential 'wife' candidate. I always wondered how they actually identified them? Was it like the Olympics where the women had numbers and names of sponsors on cards attached to their backs? Seriously though, to understand the impact of this story one must view it with Talmudic eyes. If we keep in mind that the Talmud, in a different context, defines the term "the great rectification" of the Jerusalem Temple as the separating of men and women from the same area. In addition, when we realize that modesty of behavior is equally incumbent on both man and woman in Jewish Law, this kind of behavior on Tu B'Av becomes outrageous, especially so when we are told it is a holiday of the most important kind. Hold the thought and let's go deeper. What were the circumstances that brought about the first Tu B'Av "Be In" (if I can borrow a sixties expression)? In the early days of Israel, the period of time referred to as the Judges, there was a tremendous civil war of Jew killing Jew. The entire nation of Israel had come to battle one single tribe, the tribe of Benjamin. The battle was long and took a lot of casualties but Benjamin was the biggest loser by far. The entire tribe was wiped out except for 600 men who escaped to the mountain caves. After Israel's fury had been vented, there was the sobering reality that sat in, we call it "the morning after" effect. Horrified by what they had done, they realized it was imperative that the tribe of Benjamin be built up again. Since there were no women left from their tribe, women from the rest of Israel came to 'seduce' the men from the caves and offer them a new life. This was the first Tu B'Av. It is important to go one step deeper still and understand what had prompted this terrible civil war. Recorded, again in the book of Judges, is one of the very dark stories in Jewish history. It tells of a man who was traveling alone with his concubine. When he camped near one of the towns of Benjamin, the men of the town raped the woman. In the morning she was dead. To dramatize the seriousness of this event, the man cut her into 11 pieces and sent each piece to a different tribe. The outrage that ensued led to the war. Geographically, we know that Benjamin occupied the land where the Temple sat. We also know that holiday's reflect the Mazal (the astrological influence) of the Hebrew months they are embedded in. The power of the month of Av (which literally means 'father') is the strong and jealously guarded relationship between Hashem and Jewish people. A betrayal of that relationship led to the infamous repetitive living nightmare known as the 9th of Av, the destruction of the Temples - God's Home. Yet within the rage of the 9th of Av is the beginnings of a greater, more beautiful life then we had known before. Mashiach comes to life amidst the burning flames of the Temple. Av represents the potential in the world to go from its ugliest, worst to its most beautiful, complete being. The wax and wane nature of the moon is the famous Jewish symbol for transitions through time. This is why most of our major holidays are rooted in full moons. The full moon shows the revelation of what, at the start of the month, was only its potential. The 15th of Av, Tu B'Av, is the full moon. Tu B'Av reveals the potential of the month. It is the reflection of the perfection of both time and space, the building blocks of creation. Space in the sense of the Temple being the ultimate manifestation of Hashem's dwelling among Israel and all the nations, and in our case, represented by the destruction and rebuilding of Benjamin. Time in the sense of transferring nightmare into dream via Mashiach's arrival, equated with his birth in the month of Av, and his making the month of Av (on Tu B'Av) the highest of the highest holidays. Let's put it all together now. We sing on Friday nights in the Lecha Dodi the phrase "the last event was the original intent." In Jewish teachings, this concept is linked with the idea that the thing which goes wrong first is the source of everything that needs fixing. Hashem created man and woman naked, uninhibited and free from ego. Their beauty was in the context of God's creation and not something ugly nor available for exploitation. Naked Eve in the Garden of Eden was not a photo session for a porno king to abuse. The fall of utopia, i.e. the original sin, brought about not only discord and strife between man and woman but an awareness of their 'nakedness' being wrong or shameful. Since the national scale of Israel's history mirrors the personal experiences of Adam and Eve, the equivalent to this decline was the tribal rape, woman as object, as pleasure toy, as devoid of feelings and a life of her own. To lose sight of the image of G-d in any human being, male or female, Jew or Gentile, is in itself a "destruction of the Temple". Let me just insert here, that Classical Judaism does not see the reversal of an event as it's 'tikkun' (rectification) but rather the same experience utilized in its highest aspect becomes both the events 'healing' and 'fulfillment'. The women dancing in the fields, from the eyes of our Sages, became the return to the Garden of Eden before the fall. The women offering their "fruits" with full soul and body in the context of marriage and holiness 'revived from the dead' (the original punishment) Benjamin. This purity of heart, not only revived the tribe of Benjamin but brought out the real heart of the Jewish people, which, unfortunately, often needs a tragedy to bring out. One of the 600 men who had escaped to the caves was Shaul, later to become Israel's first king. The king is the heart and soul of its people. From Tu B'Av, the heart of Av, came the heart of the nation. One heart for One G-d. The Home of G-d today is the Jewish home that lives in such a manner that it invites the Divine Presence to dwell among them. By the nation nurturing and reviving Benjamin, the heart of the nation awoke again. When we learn to invite true kosher love of brother to brother, sister to sister and husband and wife back together again, this dispels the horror of wanton hatred, which destroyed the Temple, and replaces it with 'wanton' love, which will rebuild the Temple. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------end of message------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------